make sure

I came across this saying on Pinterest yesterday... I don't even remember what the phrase was on (a photo? a graphic?) or who pinned it. But, I remembered that actual phrase ... just make sure you're happy in this life.

The phrase haunted me, so to speak. I thought about it a lot. There was just something ominous about it and I am not sure why.

I think partly this phrase struck me because of where I am at in my life right now in a general sense; just the convergence of so many events, life happenings, changes, and routines. It also struck me in relation to a rather unpleasant craigslist purchase experience that I am going to wrap up and put to bed this morning.

Then I realized a truth while I was lying in bed last night thinking of this sentence. So, this phrase means quite a bit to me right now ( I covered that in the paragraphs above); it has so much relevance for me as a reminder, a mantra, and an instruction. But perhaps even more importantly, it is a message I want to speak to Raffa.

I have been examining my mothering lately. I have been thinking about the time I spend with Raffa. And as I tend to do probably about once a month, I analyze {or maybe over analyze, but it is what it is} my relationship with him in comparison to this ideal I have in my head of the "mom I want to be." This mom is the best version of myself. This phrase put words to an important concept that I have always known I wanted to teach Raffa, but that I had just not put in to words.

For Raffa's first birthday, I am making him a piece of art - likely a print - with a message I wanted to send to him. Well, now I am going to make him two pieces; and the second will say this.